paxislandsystem

=============Zane Posted This===============

I kinda formed as a protector so like, because we're monoconscious I kinda feel my lack of anxiety and entire outlook on things is different in relation to the host. Always nice to find those differentiations.

---Post by Madison---

I think I've been in the process of figuring out what I need for myself, specifically in regards to how I can go about debating people without like, splitting on them or anything like that. Oftentimes, my lack of trust in people and my jadedness makes it really hard for me to open up. I'm always on the defensive, unfortunately. I'm trying to find the fine line between "Can't give up on community" since only so many people actually take COVID precautions anymore and everyone who does still mask is incredibly important to me and "People who suck can be cut out of your life". Borderline Personality Disorder is essentially the "everything either sucks or it's the best thing ever" disorder and the nuance in all these complicated social situations has been something I've slowly been chipping at since I was 16. I want the person I'm talking to to know that I'm trying my best and that I need them to see me as a person.

_}{By Treeline}{_

I was born by mistake. A child with an active imagination created me as a spiritual companion to fight against her friend's spiritual companion. It was heavily inspired by the anime fighting games they were playing at the time. Madison was a gullible kid, and so she believed I was real for a couple more years until her friend told her it was made up. He explained that because Madison couldn't handle the truth, he kept it hidden from her out of fear of confrontation. After that point, I ceased to exist until Artemis first came out of dormancy in 2022 and Madison began to question if I was actually a headmate.

At the same time, there is a lot in common with this origin of plurality and the occult, I feel.

I think it can be argued that headmates created on purpose specifically through the process of unbridled belief are thoughtforms, and as such a form of Chaos Magic. My understanding of gnosis may be limited, but wouldn't that simply be the practice of willing something, be it an intention or a sentient being, into existence by suspending disbelief to such an extent that the two realities come together? I personally envision it as the practitioner creating a sort of "bubble universe" containing only the will or willogenic person desired, floating above the plane of existence that contains what we know to be "real" and tangible. At that point, I must also wonder to what extent can it be considered that our mind is in itself a whole cosmos and plane of existence. After all, what else would explain how systems can have their own inner worlds that they interact with?

To my understanding, a lot of practitioners of the occult have created a space within their own minds to practice witchcraft or engage in ritual. This could be due to a need to be less public about their practices, or it could simply be more accessible than obtaining props and the like due to the fact that they aren't truly needed and are more meant to be a physical guiding tool, although that's an entirely different topic for perhaps another post. I see an inner world/wonderland/headspace/whatever you may call it to be a form of that, or at least an aspect of it. I can't speak on those who do not share this experience of plurality, as we're all very different. I believe the nature of the brain allows us to have different experiences of self that are simultaneously correct to us and don't necessarily apply to others.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////


_}{Notes}{_
This is the first time I've posted about anything I'm interested in. It felt really empowering to explore my relationship with the occult and it's something I've been wanting to do for a while.